Altering course

So this past Friday was my next major step in course correction, the last regular day at Job 1 (or was it Job 2?). I've agreed to continue doing some contract work there to see how that goes. I've been aware of how stress-producing this situation has been for me, but even so was surprised when I got to the end of the day and felt.....no sense of ease whatsoever. Kari and Dirk and I went out to celebrate, and even with a series of Pancho's potent margaritas, it just felt like I couldn't let things go. We left my car at Kari's shop and by the next morning when she picked me up to go get it, I was beginning to feel that I could lay that burden down. But felt somewhat slack and paralyzed much of the weekend, did get some things accomplished but also did just a lot of sitting. Hunter and Emma didn't mind - it was a gorgeous day yesterday and I just left the back door open for them to come and go.

This morning I finally do feel a little less fractured, and the relief of setting down the mental vigilance required to sustain full-time knowledge and responsibility for two part-time jobs. It's off to Job 1 (or is it Job 2?) every day this week, then a long weekend, and then a new job-share as I start at Kari's shop part-time the week following. My guess is that the eventual shifts are going to take far longer than we'd hoped but that isn't much of a surprise, and in the meantime I'm making important steps to working conditions that are just easier to bear and feel more focused, instead of scattered and exhausting.