Monday, July 19, 2010

Amazing grace in a bottle

I love the body products by Philosophy and have been using the "amazing grace" shampoo for a long time. Actually, I've been refilling this bottle with all sorts of other products because I really like reading these words off the label each morning. Pretty cliche, but I feel better when I read this...

amazing grace philosophy: life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. it's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. being a humble person can, and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude.

Rinse and repeat.

Friday, July 16, 2010

I may have shot myself in the ecclesiastical foot

If I had ever suspected that God might grant me precisely what I was praying for, I would have taken a little more care in stating the request.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Doctor's orders

So Holly and I both went to our respective doctors today. Trying a different steroid with Holly to see whether it may (a) help her symptoms and (b) possibly point us toward another area of diagnosis (ruling out Addison's disease on top of everything else). She liked the ice cream cone on the way home better than the IM shot at the clinic. Her Inimitable Self also bit Dr. Ron when he gave her a cookie. Holly has gained 2 lbs and I felt really good about that as a QOL indicator. She has been stumbling and falling SO much lately and also constant night-wandering from dementia too. The last few nights I've given her tramadol to get her to relax and get some sleep and that seems to be working very well for us.

I did pretty well with my doctor too; I like that Dr. Mike is just like Dr. Ron in terms of being smart but practical, aware that my wallet doesn't have any health insurance cards in it, and always possessed of good general advice that can be employed on the spot. Bloodwork for me was long (years) overdue so that got taken care of, and I felt good about the visit overall and his assessment of what I need to do over the next 12-18 months to repair the damage of the last few years.

Until I got home later and checked email, and found a note from the doc that some of the bloodwork was back and not looking great. Will have to wait a week or so for further results, but most likely outcome is that my lupus is no longer in remission. I have known for a good long while that everything was not all right, but with the focus on taking care of Mom and without medical coverage, I made the conscious choice to set it aside. So now maybe some answers will come, and maybe they won't be the worst answers either. I have lived with lupus before and I hope I can do it again, and despite the possibilities that life will entirely change, that might actually be much better an outcome than the second possibility the doctor is pursuing.

There was a time when I would have angsted myself over just the wait for answers, let alone the outcome. But instead just pulled in supports; Kari had actually called me about something else just as I had opened that email so there was a friend right there in the moment. Once we were done talking, I called family members briefly - it was good to hear Beverly's voice lifting me up in prayer, and to hear Matthew say "I've got your back" before he hung up the phone.

I will not fear the future when God is already there.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Manners first!

Solstice (the 16 year old Lab) is with us again this weekend along with four other guests plus Holly as host. The weather is cool, but not so much that I can't leave the dining room door open onto the back deck, so the dogs can come and go on their own. Well, except for Soli, who does go out, but barks to be let in each and every time she returns.... despite the fact that the door is still open. "Excuse me, may I come in?" and she will NOT come in of her own accord even if she can see me beckoning from within. She waits (not necessarily patiently, as the barks become more insistent if I delay) until I come to the door and "allow" her in.

Their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor

What happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence? Most of us know about the few more famous who went on to lead our new country. Learn a bit about the others who paid a terrible price, in today's essay by Michael Gallagher. While you're at it, reread the Declaration itself. Most of us remember the beginning and the end, but it's the parts in the middle - often swept over by the broad phrase "taxation without representation" - that tell the story of the true anguish that led us to fight our own original country, knowing that the price of it was nothing less than death.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Reasons not to leave the TV on

I fell asleep on the couch last night cuddling a sturdy little Frenchie and listening to the raspy sounds of four old dogs dreaming. Around 1:15 am I was wakened by throaty growls which turned out to be a pack of demon dogs in the Resident Evil movie. I've never played the games or seen the movies, and trying to sort out truth from television was difficult out of a sound sleep made sounder by a few glasses of sake earlier... I do not know why I was so bothered by a bunch of ridiculous Dobermans evidently basted in barbecue sauce, but it took me forever to get back to sleep!