Disappointments in daycare

I stuck a note about Hunter in the comments on my previous post, but thought afterward that I should make it a primary note instead. My heart is hurting for my little boy today. He only lasted an hour or so at daycare; went in happily as he always does, straight out to the exercise yard without a backward glance to me. When the dogs all came back in and I was there, he faltered, clearly confused. He wanted to be near me but he was nervous and unsure. I tried to give him steady guidance as part of the group without indulging him too much - I knew I was stretching him. And I think I knew pretty quickly that it wouldn't work, though I stayed calm and don't think I was adding substantially to his distress. Before an hour was over, he'd been placed in time out for growling at one of the staff while I was out of the room, he was rushing the doors in some panic, and mainly every time I looked in his eyes I could see his real confusion as to why I was there and what did that mean he should be doing in proximity of so many other dogs. I tried to let him know that there was actually nothing about my presence that meant any new responsibility for him, but there were also other factors in the total dynamic that were affecting him too. In hindsight I can see some things that might have helped it work better. I took him home after just an hour and he was very relieved to get there. He was clingy with me tonight, which is rare.

At later points in the day I felt tears well up, just to think of seeing him take a large backward step when we've worked so slowly for so long - years - to help him build his confidence in new situations where he is unsure. I kicked myself for letting him down (and I'm weeping a little right now too). But...truth is I didn't let him down. He decompensated quickly, I had no difficulty in recognizing the tipping point where the day could not be salvaged because he was in a state of mind where he wasn't reachable, and I did not let him remain in that distress.

I can think it out before we try again (have decided not to take him tomorrow) and we can stage him for a better chance of success, probably when Kari's around too. I also got to know all of the dogs that are in his regular Wednesday group and am encouraged by the numerous dogs there that are really good companions for him and that he seems to enjoy. It was fun to watch a few special friends greet him before they all came back inside and things went to hell in a handbasket. In a few weeks he'll probably be moving to the Friday group which is the smallest group of the week, so we may just take a break for a few weeks before we try again.