Book: Crones Don't Whine by Jean Shinoda Bolen

Jean Shinoda Bolen, Conari Press 2003
Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women
13 Qualities to Cultivate

"The third aspect of the ancient Triple Goddess was the Crone. The third phase of a woman's life is after menopause. To aspire to be a crone is to want the psychological and spiritual growth that she symbolizes. The crone is an archetype, an inner potential that we grow into becoming."

This little book left me feeling ambivalent in that it contains some wonderful wisdom but parts of it felt saturatingly sweet and a wee bit precious. I am not a Chicken Soup book kind of girl. However, the overall point is to make the third phase of life "a culmination time for inner beauty and wisdom," to use our time, energy and vitality well, and that is a powerful message.

The 13 qualities head each small chapter: Crones Don't Whine - Crones Are Juicy - Crones Have Green Thumbs - Crones Trust What They Know in Their Bones - Crones Meditate in Their Fashion - Crones Are Fierce About What Matters to Them - Crones Choose the Path with Heart - Crones Speak the Truth with Compassion - Crones Listen to Their Bodies - Crones Improvise - Crones Don't Grovel - Crones Laugh Together - Crones Savor the Good in Their Lives

Further chapters appear on "Exceptional Men Can Be Crones" - how men can acquire wisdom and compassion through humility and remorse in life experiences - and how "Crones Together Can Change the World"... that is, biologically the continuation of the species has been up to women. But that now it is up to crones - women and the exceptional men who deserve the name - to bring forth the sapiens [Latin: wise] in time to insure the spiritual, psychological, and intellectual continuation of humanity.

Bolen quotes the four guiding principles attributed to Angeles Arrien: 1. Show up. 2. Pay attention. 3. Speak your truth. and 4. Don't be attached to the outcome. She changes the fourth principle to: Pray for best outcome. Paraphrased: "It is an expression of crone wisdom aligned with the maternal or feminine principle, expressed spiritually. Speak your truth knowing it is limited, nurture and sustain those for whom you pray spiritually...Want (and therefore be attached to) whatever the best outcome for them may be - with their whole lifetime and soul journey in mind."

The few women I have known who really embodied the Crone for me were not all (or even mostly) women to whom I was very personally close, but their influence and power reached me beyond levels of acquaintanceship - if you know one of these women, you really know it in how you are touched by their wisdom and compassion and pragmatism. It seems antithetical to me that this can be something to which we aspire as a goal, but rather it is bound up in the moments of daily living. When I think about these issues and then I think about the many less-noble moments of my conduct through the day, I am humbled...but then that must mean there is progress for me on the journey? I am mindful of the influence we wield toward each other in a million small ways, with each word and deed, and I wish I was better mindful as these encounters happen instead of only in my contemplation afterward. Pray for best outcome.